BDSM Guide: How to Have Fun Safely
Welcome to Top Drawer Toys handy BSDM guide to the basics and how to have fun safely in this fascinating corner of the sexual world. BDSM is a sexual practice combining bondage, discipline, domination, and sadomasochism. But BDSM encompasses a tremendous range of “kink” from mild to wild. What’s held in common in all BDSM sexual practices is an element of fantasy role-play.
Let’s dive into our BDSM guide to find out how you can enjoy it safely! But before we do, let’s figure out who you are in the world of BDSM.
Top. Bottom. Switch
BDSM is less about inflicting pain and more about the psychology of domination and submission. But it’s also about the intimacy of pleasing your partner in the way they want to be pleased.
The mechanics and potential scenarios of BDSM play are different for everyone but they work from a simple framework in which there is a “top” (dominant) and a “bottom” (submissive). These roles, incidentally, are not specific to sex or gender. Anyone can be a top. Anyone can be a bottom.
The gray area is the “switch” (just like a “switch hitter” in baseball). A switch can toggle between the roles of top and bottom, depending on mood and the scenario in play. So, consider your personal proclivities. To focus your desires, try taking a quiz to pinpoint who you are in BDSM before diving into our BDSM guide.
Communication is Key
Once you’ve answered the top/bottom/switch question, your next task is to have a chat with your partner. Are they on the same page as you? I wouldn’t suggest jumping out the closet wearing a gimp mask to find out!
Rather, you need to sit down and discuss your interest in BDSM play, openly sharing your thoughts and listening carefully to what your lover is telling you. This conversation will set the tone for your kinky explorations. BDSM demands open communication, total trust, and unity of purpose. And BDSM is always consensual. Communication is at the heart of everything you’ll do together in this new sexual world, so our BDSM guide starts and ends with open, honest communication.
The Safe Word
Having a mutually agreed upon “safe word” allows you both to stop the action if you’re not happy with the direction it’s taking. Choose a word with meaning to both of you and make it obscure. Yelling, “Suspenders!” or “Blunderbuss!” may sound weird but if you both know that word means “stop”, it’s effective.
Alternatively, you may prefer to use the “traffic signal” methodology for pressing pause on BDSM play:
- Red: Stop right now!
- Orange: You’re pushing it! Slow down and check in to make sure I’m OK.
- Green: Keep doing what you’re doing!
As I said, communication is key to safe, fun BDSM and the safe word is central. So, now that the lines of communication are open, let’s continue with our BDSM guide, focusing on props.
Shopping for Props
Imagine the fun you and your lover will have shopping for props for BDSM play! You can choose to head out to the local sex shop or discreetly shop online from home. Because you’re new to BDSM, the home option gives you plenty of time to virtually stroll the aisles and find just the right props. Crack open a lovely bottle of wine and snuggle up with your lover and your laptop. This is a virtual adventure for two!
You’ve talked about kinky play with your partner and now, you’re probably sharing this BDSM guide with them. As you select your props, remember to start small. Restraints, a flogger or crop, a blindfold, a vibrating cock ring, and maybe a set of nipple clamps should get you started. But choose the items that appeal to you both, building your toy chest as you move along in your BDSM journey.
A Beginner-Friendly Sex Machine
If the words “sex machine” make you a little nervous, then you haven’t heard about Box Rocker. Top Drawer Toys has engineered Box Rocker to please, with a wealth of features that let you customize the experience. Choose your ideal thrusting speed and depth and vibration mode. Use the hands-free strap to wear it or pass the remote control to your partner. Water-resistant Box Rocker can even play with you in the shower!!
Weighing in at under 2 pounds, whisper-quiet Box Rocker keeps your sexy secrets! More than a vibrator, Box Rocker revolutionizes the sex machine with lightweight, quiet operation. So, adding Box Rocker to your tickle trunk is our top tip in this BDSM guide!